April 19 2025 Pancake Marathon
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
The Set Aside Prayer (or lay aside prayer): Dear God, please set aside everything I think I know About myself, this book, my disease, these steps, and especially about you dear God so that I might have an open mind And a new experience with all these things. Please help me to see the truth.
god shame you:
I can only understand good as the god (level of peace) I understand (to be or not to be, so what shall I be?), so I can't god shame you (let my ego say "I AM better than this ego."), more than I can do to myself; but if I do say your wrong then that would just say I have yet to come to trust myself and god?
I can only comprehend good as the level of peace I understand God to be. Therefore, I cannot shame you with my ego saying "I AM better than this ego," any more than I can do that to myself. If I were to say you are wrong, it would only mean that I have yet to come to trust myself and God.
Ways to understanding this writing
others
(different versions of myself: Is all is energy: as energy cannot be destroyed it can just change form: poetically stated by science/ the god within them as the same as the god with me)
I
( ego)
self-seeking
Life:
you are life and that is why it is happening to you([I] as that empowered by [other]).
You may think that there are a thousand different things being done in recovery, really there's just a thousand different ways of saying a few simple things.
In my head I roam around as if running from my future, these mental gymnastics of my life today, is just something that I am dealing with from yesterday; this version of myself where I'm just not having it: you see that is happening today.
The past hurts, this is true; as it brings forth this concept that somehow we're supposed to learn a lesson and this lesson is best understood or that of comprehended or whatever it may be as such to a point of integrating into my life in a way that brings sadness/ hurt/ disappointment/ resentment( anger)/ distrust.
all those things that come up that are just could be best understood in the Simplicity of fear ( false emotions appearing real) that then lead me into having this kind of a fear ( false evidence appearing real) or even fear of ( fight everybody in relapse), but that's the thing about fear it can be all of those things this is true but it also can be fear( face everything and rise), so I could run and I can hide I can even shoot for the sky but without any ability defined a piece of mind; it's true, this measure of hurt is just a lesson.
and so I was touching on before that somehow this hurt, almost as seemingly as a trigger: for myself a trigger is just a marker, to that of what is the indication of me working on myself or getting to work on myself; almost apart where I haven't yet and with the tools that I have put forth into my efforts of my life through the goals of these efforts I have found a way to comprehend the word serenity and KNOW new peace: getting out of my ego and finding others as a sense of value.
And so yes this hurts and even these triggers, brings me to this conclusion or that of what is a deeper understanding of you know “ focus on the message and not the messenger,” that it also highlights to me that it's easier and a simple way of saying “ play therapist,” which in its simplest aspect of itself is when it comes to me what am I going to do when I'm the one that has to live it; to where it comes to then that “it's easier said than done,” which also makes me think of before I started this sentence that it's “ just take a grain of salt not the bag.”
As it still stands though, I get to learn this lesson whatever it may be, so easily can I condemn make it worthwhile to making somebody cry; going back to my ways of oh somehow you made me mad and now you're my life's Mission and purpose to make sure that you cry: all of that is self-seeking.
as well as at the same time, I find doing this this right here, this form of a 10-step inventory/ a daily inventory; a form of itself of a reflection and that of not isolating from The Experience itself.
this shows me that I know that I'm angry and hurt: this is the truth, as well as the truth is that these feelings that I am feeling are valuable: they are something that I can learn from: what will I learn that is up to me; and yet simply to say is my intention to bring forth that of one understanding the past scenario and that of what is the affair…. upon that then to reach for the stars and realize I have the makings of greatness: to what is then keeping it a great day and to then arrest this demoralization.
for yes it's easy to do all things that would bring only misery to all you need even including me, and yet it's about how do I forgive;
for that it's a thing forgiveness is not other than for myself:
see forgiveness is also me not signing off on their ability to hurt me or others:
the other is in this is themselves and
those that would come from me hiding my gifts because I'm sad
Forgiveness has a key factor in it, that it would then allow me freedom to go forth and not be held back from any future opportunity to try and show up in my life and to carry a message.
freedom in the sense of itself is “ Letting Go and letting God”
to let live and Let Go
Freedom is also a form of acceptance.
To be able to comprehend the word serenity and no new peace.
to not shoot the messenger and focus on the message
Per say there's one more thing that I want to touch on before I go and do something else, that it's so easy to focus on that one thing opposed to all the Great Moments: yes I say this within that of this hurt I talk about, comes from one interaction that is just very off-putting; and so it's easy for me to hold on to all of that, this is true, but then the truth be told that what do I need to learn and how do I set boundaries.
because it's also about yes accepting that lesson through that teacher, but it's also about how am I going to have boundaries and self respect so I don't fall into my old ways/ the patterns of stinking thinking; to wear essentially I'm making a permanent decision off of a temporary moment: truly forgetting that this too shall pass.
Topic
Recognizing my hurt: I am hurt and it's not that fun, but I know it's not the end of the world unless I want it to be; so in what way can I not become passive aggressive but at the same time set a healthy boundary and forgive?
How: Honest open willing
For maybe “how,” is “what,” to you or is your “why?”
What: wonder how about today?
APS: Acronyms (bold) Principles (italic) Slogans (underlined)
Slogans are wisdom written in shorthand and Acronyms are just the sum/the Virtues, of all that wisdom: WISDOM: When In Self, Discover Our Motives
Minds are like parachutes and Analysis is paralysis, for if I am too comprehend the word serenity and no new peace so that I can absolutely lose interest in selfish things to gain interest in my fellows; to essentially learn to trust again, And so then until I come to comprehend the word serenity I get to let go and let God ( step 3).
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