8 August Spiritual principle a day

recovery is love · 2024-08-03T18:29:05.073Z

1 The Power of Creative Action Page 221 "Creative action keeps us moving forward." Guiding Principles, All Will Be Well One way for us to examine the power of creative action is to take a clear look at its spiritual polar opposite: destruction. In our active addiction, instead of building up our lives, we knocked them down. We demolished relationships, careers, and property. We self-destructed, harming our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. In many cases, our destructiveness resulted in losing our freedom. As melodramatic as it may sound, we can rise from the rubble, fumes, and bloodshed of our self-destruction! We destroyed a lot, but we didn't destroy everything. Because we're alive and we're clean, we have the opportunity to rebuild. Most simply, creative action is everything we do to reconstruct our lives and elevate our communities. It includes all the actions we take to build our self-esteem, strengthen our relationships, and bolster our integrity. It's important to note that some of us use our creativity to build only our outsides--getting our looks back, doing our time and being released, finishing the degree, or retiring in style--but deny our spiritual needs. That neglect can lead us down a path of destruction. We may not relapse, but we risk destroying some of the good we've built in our time clean. The creative actions we take to stay engaged in our recovery, give of ourselves in service, and nurture a relationship with our Higher Power will sustain our spirits even as we thrive in other ways. We will make mistakes and may experience massive failures beyond our control. We are bound to take actions that undermine our progress and hurt others. We aren't perfect. But, again, we can rebuild. Our capacity to engage in creative action during times of adversity is key to our progress. Learning how to be grateful for life's hard-hitting lessons is the ultimate protection against our destructiveness. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I'm going to take this moment to examine my destructive tendencies. Today I'll find an opportunity to consciously and creatively prevent them from taking over. 2 With Independence Comes Responsibility Page 222 "Learning to make decisions for ourselves also means accepting responsibility for those decisions." Living Clean, Chapter 6, "Finding Our Place in the World" We aren't alone, and we can't recover alone. But our commitment to mutual support doesn't negate our independence or the responsibility that attaining it--and sustaining it--demands. Even with all the apt suggestions we provide each other, our decisions about how we live are our own. And learning to live with those choices is its own beast! Some members define responsibility as the willingness to accept the consequences of our actions. Even clean, we have to keep learning the lesson that our choices aren't made in a vacuum. They affect those around us. When we find ourselves thinking once again, I'm only hurting myself, it's time for a closer look. We may want to exercise freedom of choice with more awareness and care. And other members say, "Careful what you pray for--you just might get it." Often when we do get what we want, it's a whole other world of responsibility that is ours to manage. A romantic partnership, getting our kids back, a career, property, a new puppy--all of these are gifts we must care for in order to sustain. "We keep what we have only with vigilance"--and also with commitment, discipline, patience, acceptance, passion, and a lot of love. Another aspect of taking responsibility for our independence is when, inevitably, we are faced with other people's opinions about a new direction we choose. At times that "I told you so" reaction we get makes us defensively dig ourselves further into a bad choice--or someone else's response spurs us to run from a good one. Blaming others gets us nowhere. Practicing independence requires an honest assessment of our choices in the face of others' reactions. We've also heard members say, "The more I make new mistakes rather than repeating old ones, the more I know I'm making headway in my life." ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I'm doing the best I can at living fully and owning my independence. I can live with my choices, and, if not, I can make different ones! 3 Unity in Our Shared Purpose Page 223 "Our ability to survive as a fellowship and to reach others depends on our unity." It Works, Tradition One, "Applying Spiritual Principles" We bring all our old beliefs with us when we come to NA. Being intolerant and even hostile to people from different backgrounds may have been part of our identity when we were using. Some of us held prejudices based on race, ethnicity, or culture. Others held negative views about certain religious or nonreligious beliefs or sexual and gender identities. Our judgments about age, disability, income, and even what neighborhoods people lived in influenced how we felt about them. It takes time to realize that our old ways of thinking may not serve us in this new life. And it takes even more time to change our thinking and behavior. We often encounter opportunities for growth as we do service in NA. One member shared about bumping heads with a fellow home-group member. "He was so rigid and seemed to be against anything I was for," the addict grumbled. Many of us have found ourselves similarly frustrated. Especially in early recovery, it's almost a reflex to assume that our way is best and they--whoever "they" may be--must be wrong. Fortunately, our sponsors can talk us down from that tree. They help us see that we've taken it for granted that others should think, feel, and communicate as we do. As we get to know people from a variety of backgrounds, we start to see the value of our inclusivity. Life is more interesting when viewed from multiple perspectives. We adopt a mindset of goodwill, and unity shows us how to put we before me as we focus on our common welfare. United by the ties that bind us together, we let go of our prejudices and embrace diversity as an asset. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I need NA to thrive, so today I will choose to practice the principle of unity by letting go of my old ideas and accepting 4 Open-Mindedness and Spirituality Page 224 "A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind." Basic Text, Chapter 9: Just for Today--Living the Program "Approaching Step Two with an open mind was a real challenge for me," a member shared. The concept that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity presents a real dilemma for some of us. "Thankfully, a thorough First Step pried my mind open enough to convince me that my way wasn't working," the member continued. "That surrender set me up for Step Two, and I came to believe that maybe this NA thing would work for me." Each of us grapples with the meaning of "spiritual, not religious" within the context of our own worldview. The Basic Text promises that there aren't any catches to the proposal that we find a Higher Power of our own understanding, and our experience bears that out. Some of us come with deeply held convictions based in a religious tradition. Others have secular beliefs that we may be equally committed to. No matter what our view or experience is prior to NA, we find that an open mind is an important asset, allowing us to consider ideas that are new to us. In recovery, we find that being open to spiritual concepts enriches our own beliefs. We're not being asked to swallow novel ideas whole, as we may have feared, or to replace a current belief system with some prepackaged dogma. Rather, open-mindedness allows us to learn from others' experiences, taking what feels right for us and leaving the rest. It's a graft, not a transplant. Instead of closing our minds to new ideas, an open mind frees us to try them out. If the graft takes, it may enhance our previously held beliefs. If not, it might still clarify our own ideas. In either case, growth results from keeping our minds open. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will remember the benefits of a more flexible and open approach to new ideas, even those about the spiritual aspects of recovery. August 05, 2024 Finding Purpose in One Another Page 225 "Helping others is perhaps the highest aspiration of the human heart and something we have been entrusted with as a result of a Higher Power working in our lives." It Works, Step Twelve Many of us wanted to help others before getting clean, but once we started using, doing so became difficult. One member described it this way: "My heart aspired to help people, but my brain never got the memo!" At some point in early recovery, many of us have the experience of sharing and then seeing another member relate. Maybe they nod in agreement, or they shake their head in shared amusement or disgust at the insidiousness and insanity of our disease. Maybe they vocalize--"That's right!"--or shed a tear. However they do it, they let us know that they know that we know--we share in the knowledge of the disease, and we share our experience with recovery, too. This is how we get clean and stay clean--the therapeutic value of one addict helping another. We share experience, strength, and hope; we share tea and coffee; we share the joy of staying clean and the pain of losing fellow addicts. We do it together. At many points along the way, we are reminded of our purpose for being here and being together. Maybe it's when a nonmember asks, "Why do you still go to those meetings?" We might even wonder, Yeah, why do I? Then we remember--we are uniquely qualified to help other addicts, and helping addicts gives us purpose and keeps us clean. When we go through something clean--an unintended pregnancy, parents with dementia, falling in or out of love--we are rarely the first ones in the room to do so. We share what we're going through so others can help us. Then we share what we went through so we can help others. Yes, we're each other's eyes and ears; sometimes we are also each other's trailblazers, coaches, older siblings. We have a reason for being here. And that reason is one another. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— A sense of purpose can fill that void I tried to fill with drugs. I will find purpose by sharing with and helping another addict. August 06, 2024 Spiritual Discipline Builds Good Character Page 226 "What matters most are the actions we take. Consistent application of the tools of recovery changes us." Living Clean, Chapter 7, "Awakenings" "My parents sacrificed to send me away to school when I was a kid. They were at their wits' end and hoped that this school could drill some discipline into me," a member shared. "They said it would build character. It toughened me up, all right, and made me even more rebellious. It would be a long time before I'd see discipline and character in a positive light again. But here I am, grateful that my rebelliousness landed me here. NA gave me what my upbringing and education could not. You showed me the value of a different kind of discipline, a spiritual discipline, and through it I've become a person of good character. That matters to me today." Many of us have negative associations with the word discipline. It conjures up memories of the principal's office or worse. We understand discipline to mean punishment--and it does--but other definitions are better suited to us in recovery. As a spiritual principle, discipline refers both to the good habits that support our recovery and the composure and serenity resulting from that work. As with athletes and musicians, our performance in real life reflects the effort put into disciplined practice. When we're disciplined about our spiritual maintenance, we're less distracted by our impulses, our defects may not call us as often, and we're more apt to listen to the quiet, steady assurances of our conscience or Higher Power. As we improve our conscious contact, we find it easier to curb our excesses and strengthen our character. As one member wrote, "I have a daily spiritual routine that puts me at ease with my emotions. I can practice restraint when it's called for because I'm no longer governed by impulse." ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— My character is defined by my choices; who I am is what I do. Are my current routines providing adequate spiritual maintenance? How might I strengthen my character by being more disciplined? August 07, 2024 Unconditional Love for Fellow Addicts Page 227 "A member shared, "Unconditional love is not the same as unconditional acceptance. I don't have to like your behavior, but that doesn't mean we reject each other as human beings."" Guiding Principles, Tradition One, "For Groups" Oh, great. This. So often we come from families and relationships where love was conditional. If we didn't act right or when we made mistakes, love was withheld from us. For many addicts, rejection of any sort is unbearable. When an NA member takes issue with something we did or said, we see it as solid evidence that we are worthless. That person is now our mortal enemy, judging us every second. No matter how gently we are pulled aside and pulled up, we won't be able to feel the love in it--nor will we be able to forget it. Forever and ever, we will remember that oldtimer who took us aside after the meeting and told us, "I love you, but could you please . . ." That being said, there's no list of hard-and-fast rules to determine when a member's behavior in meetings warrants unsolicited feedback. As a recovering addict wrote, "No matter how obnoxious I was, people always gave me a hug and told me to keep coming back." Ideally, our default is to treat each other with respect and kindness. We put our common welfare first when we address behavior that puts meetings and members at risk. We protect the right of all of us to recover when we communicate to a member that disruptive, predatory, or violent conduct is not acceptable. NA is here for all addicts, and our experience shows that we can support members through just about anything. Our capacity to love and accept others as they are impacts our personal growth in recovery. When someone drives us mad, "Pray for them," a trusted oldtimer suggested. "We don't have to pray they win the lottery. But still pray for them." ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I am reminding myself that we are all addicts trying to get and stay clean, just for today. I don't have to like everybody, but I'll try to love them anyway. August 08, 2024 Accepting Ourselves as Works in Progress Page 228 "A spiritual understanding of self-acceptance is knowing that it is all right to find ourselves in pain, to have made mistakes, and to know that we are not perfect." IP #19, Self-Acceptance, "The Twelve Steps are the solution" "Change is a process, not an event," NA members often say--because we find it to be true! The same can be said about how we begin to experience self-acceptance in our first days, weeks, or months clean. That intuitive sense that we are, in fact, okay can feel like coming in from the cold. We enjoy a bit of self-acceptance even before we've worked all Twelve Steps. As we work the NA program, those feelings deepen, settle, and evolve just as we do. It's a mistake to assume self-acceptance awaits us once we change some external conditions. We may hope--without evidence--a new year, a new flame, a new town, or a new diet will bring us contentment. When we reach outside ourselves to fix what's within, our plan is to emerge as better people, more worthy of acceptance. To our disappointment and pain, we also have found accuracy in this familiar saying: "Wherever you go, there you are." Sure enough. NA's literature, meetings, and online spaces help us find a better perspective on ourselves and our lives. Instead of focusing solely on our admirable qualities, we learn to embrace all facets of ourselves--our assets and our liabilities. We take responsibility for our recovery and, in working the Twelve Steps, come to accept the world around and within us. We divulge our secrets and find that we're not alone. "Even amid my struggles and sometimes bad behavior," one member wrote, "I'm all right with this perfectly imperfect me. I know my wounds and my weapons. I'm a work in progress, and I am okay." We embrace our values, our process, and our growth. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I'll try to accept all of me today. I'm neither my strengths nor my weaknesses--I am both: broken in places but just enough to let the light shine in. August 09, 2024 Practicing Tolerance and Self-Acceptance Page 229 "As we learn to gently accept ourselves, we can start to view others with the same accepting and tolerant heart." Just for Today, "Expectations," July 29 Working an NA program uncovers a considerable need for self-acceptance, and slowly we proceed on that journey. Our work also reveals that the people who get under our skin the most are among our greatest teachers. Just like us, they deserve our acceptance and empathy. There's a reciprocal relationship between self-acceptance and tolerating others who bug us. We learn this from the harsh truth that we often share some very similar traits with those very same people. As we extend grace and dignity to other flawed people in our lives, we often find it easier to treat our less-than-perfect selves with the same compassion. But then how is tolerance a spiritual principle? Shouldn't we just be unconditionally loving and accepting of everyone? "Earlier in my recovery," a member remarked, "I rejected tolerance as a spiritual principle because when I practiced it toward the person who was driving me nuts, there was nothing spiritual going on in my head. I wanted to go right to acceptance . . . or scratch their eyes out. But now I see it as an act of love." "Tolerance, in my mind," another member responded, "is like a gateway spiritual principle. It's a layover on a multistop flight on the way to your final destination: acceptance." "Or it's an appetizer principle," a third member joked. "You have it first, to tide you over before the empathy entree. And maybe unconditional love is dessert." No matter how we slice it, tolerance helps us combat unrealistic expectations we place on others' behavior and our own spiritual condition. Whether we practice it with an open heart or through gritted teeth, it helps prevent us from acting out in fear or anger or expressing our impatience with others who may not be as far along in their journey as we believe we are. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— Today when I practice tolerance, I'll know that it relates directly to my level of self-acceptance. I'll try to let people be where they are and focus on what I can change about myself to invite serenity in. August 10, 2024 To Be Both Willing and Humble Page 230 "Balancing willingness and humility means that we are able to step up to the work we are able to do, and also admit that sometimes we need help." Guiding Principles, Tradition Eight, "Spiritual Principles" Recovery offers us many chances to adopt a realistic view of who we are. Humility deepens when we admit powerlessness in Step One, accept help in Steps Three and Seven, and get clarity about our assets and shortcomings in Steps Four, Six, and Ten. We continually gain experience sorting out what we can and can't do for ourselves. Sometimes, we embrace our strengths or expand our capabilities. Other times, we accept our limitations. When deciding what we can realistically accomplish on our own, Tradition Eight reminds us to practice humility and prudence. That's good advice for groups and service bodies, and it's equally applicable for our personal lives. We strive to be self-supporting, as Tradition Seven suggests, but that doesn't mean we're self-sufficient. In NA and at home, humility helps us discern the difference. Making the NA message widely available often involves tasks or projects requiring more time or expertise than we have available. We can and do employ special workers for many functions in NA, from printing meeting directories to proofreading to navigating the rules of international trade. When it comes to demonstrating NA's reliability and expanding access to our lifesaving message, it's sometimes prudent to hire some help. Seeing our principles at work in NA service helps many of us learn to apply them in our personal lives. "I wanted to save money on a plumber by fixing a leak myself," a member recalled. "My partner reminded me that I'd made several valiant attempts at home projects in the past year, and none turned out very well. If I want to become a fix-it person, I can make the time to take a class or get help from a friend. But while the water is leaking, I might just need to call an actual plumber." That's practicing willingness, self-support, and humility . . . all while preventing unnecessary catastrophe! ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I don't have to be capable of everything. If my needs or desires outweigh my ability, I will practice humility by asking for help. August 11, 2024 Harmony in Spite of Conflict Page 231 "When we practice living in harmony with our world, we become wiser about choosing our battles. We learn where we can use our energy to make a difference and where we need to let go." Living Clean, Chapter 3, "Awakening to Our Spirituality" Freedom of choice is a new concept for most of us in recovery. Recovery allows us to start to make healthy choices for ourselves and to consider the consequences of those choices for everyone involved. We begin to realize that we are not the center of the universe and strive to practice goodwill. Living in harmony with the world comes easily when our interactions with others are guided by mutual respect. We may be unaccustomed to disagreeing without being disagreeable, but we can see the benefits of this approach. When we're engaged with life, disagreements and conflicts come with the territory. In recovery, we learn to navigate confrontations differently than we had in the past. None of us gets clean to be a doormat, so we've got to learn to defend ourselves and fight for our passions in principled ways. With practice, we become less impulsive in our actions and take time to decide where we want to spend our energy. One member described how he questions his own thought process: "Am I championing this cause as a matter of principle or pride? Is this my battle, or do I need to let go?" We learn from our mistakes and those of others, and we consider the suggestions made by members of our support group more often. We grow to understand the preciousness of time. With only 24 hours in a day, we choose to find our way through conflict in ways that preserve our dignity and foster harmony. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will take a deep breath as I decide how to spend my time and energy. Today I will choose responses that preserve my dignity and that of those around me. August 12, 2024 Finding Grace in the Process Page 232 "Spiritual awakening is a process. Maybe it is what the whole process is about. We nurture our awakening spirits and know that we are finally free to live in grace, integrity, and dignity." Living Clean, Chapter 3, "Creative Action of Spirit" When we were using drugs, our spirits slowly eroded as our disease progressed. We compromised our beliefs and screwed over anyone who got in the way of our self-serving plans. The journey from desperation to spiritual awakening is a long and storied path for each of us. A pink cloud may protect us from the jagged edges of life on life's terms for a time, but reality sets in sooner or later. Eventually, we will walk through the death of someone close to us or perhaps go through a painful divorce with years clean. We each deal with loss differently. Our initial response may be to avoid our feelings, instead seeking comfort in food or sex or gaming. With time, we learn to rely on a power greater than ourselves and our support group to navigate overwhelming feelings. When we let go and surrender to the process, our spirits are free to awaken. Grace teaches us to let things unfold naturally and let go of the illusion of control. We're less invested in outcomes, and we focus instead on aligning our will with the greater good. We open our minds to the possibilities and pay attention to opportunities as well as to closed doors. We live in the moment and enjoy the freedom that comes with grace. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will let go of my expectations and enjoy the clarity of the moment. I will allow myself to be present for the evolution of my spiritual journey and revel in the grace of living just for today. August 13, 2024 Anonymity and Individuality Page 233 "In anonymity, we are free to be ourselves and to carry and receive a message of hope with the addict who suffers, regardless of whenever, wherever, or whoever they might be." Guiding Principles, Tradition Twelve, Closing Reflection We live in the world where--consciously and unconsciously--we adjust how we speak and behave at times to fit our circumstances. We avoid certain four-letter words when talking to Granny or the boss, for example. We greet each other in different ways, too. A handshake, a bow, or a fist bump may be called for, depending on the situation, or maybe cheek-to-cheek air kisses--one, two, or three. The point is that people--even nonaddicts--adapt as a sign of respect or solidarity. But as with so many other characteristics, addicts can take this natural inclination to extremes. In active addiction, we scaled up our capacity to "read" situations and leveraged this skill set to get what we needed. Instead of being flexible to connect with others, we were cunning manipulators trying to get our way. Recovery helps us return this ability to its proper proportions. Working the Steps helps us figure out who we are and then supports our efforts to be and do our best. What a relief! We can be more secure in our own identities and less like chameleons today. Practicing the spiritual principle of anonymity does not mean losing our individuality. In reality, the very character of Narcotics Anonymous relies, in part, on "the rough-and-tumble liveliness that arises from the diverse personalities of our members," as stated in It Works: How and Why. In being our weird, wonderful selves, we allow a broader range of addicts to connect with the message and come to believe that NA might work for them, too. Collectively and individually, we are NA's best asset. In fact, we are NA. When we share from the heart, others connect. Being ourselves to the best of our ability makes way for others to do the same. There is a place for all of us in NA. We all fit in when we focus on carrying and receiving our message of hope. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will share my unvarnished experience today, knowing that sincerity and genuineness are far more important than polish or pretense. NA needs me to be me--no more, no less. Turns out I need that, too. August 14, 2024 Surrendering Shortcomings Page 234 "In the Seventh Step, we take our surrender to a deeper level. What began in Step One with an acknowledgment of our addiction now includes an acknowledgment of the shortcomings that go along with our addiction." NA Step Working Guides, Step Seven, "Spiritual Principles" The Steps are in order for a reason; each one prepares us for the next. We acknowledge that our way hasn't worked when we surrender to Step One. Some members boil it down to a single acknowledgment: I need something different. This admission opens the door for us to recognize our need for restoration in Step Two and to make a decision in Step Three. With each of these first three Steps, we surrender a little more. In exchange, we gain hope and enjoy glimpses of freedom. Surrender takes on new meaning when we get to Steps Six and Seven. Sure, we were sick of some shortcomings, but others were still useful. We were rather fond of one or two that we believed defined us. Still other defects kept us safe; we may even credit some of them with our survival out there. To become entirely ready to release the whole list, we ask ourselves, "Are they still serving us in our new way of life? What would life be like without them?" The answer is always "a little freer." With humility, we surrender our shortcomings to a Higher Power and ask for them to be removed. More than one sponsor has pointed out that "the Seventh Step doesn't go on to say 'and we lived happily ever after without them,' does it?" Instead, this Step Seven surrender opens us to guidance and requires us to do some more work. Many of us find that we're more receptive to the suggestions of our sponsors, trusted friends, and our own insights. When we start to feel ourselves reach for a defective reaction, we make an effort to choose a principled response instead. We surrender, again and again, deepening our commitment to living by spiritual principles and inviting them to counter our worst instincts. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— Each time one of my shortcomings seems appealing, that's when I can practice surrender. The gifts of surrender are available to me each day. August 15, 2024 Guided by Conscience Page 235 "We come to know our intentions. We get better at hearing our own voice, our own conscience, and listening to our instincts." Living Clean, Chapter 5, "Conscious Contact" Even those of us who were raised by wolves were taught the difference between right and wrong. The code of ethics we inherited may have been a bit twisted, but it gave us a point of reference nonetheless. As a result, many of us suffered from a guilty conscience when we screwed up or caused harm early in our using careers. At some point, though, we made a choice--knowingly or not--to behave in ways that were contrary to the values we had internalized. It's not that we lacked a moral compass; we'd just put it away for a bit. On those occasions when we still felt bad, we turned to denial, defensiveness, and drugs--lots of drugs--to help us stuff the discomfort of a guilty conscience. Our awareness of that still, quiet voice within starts to return almost as soon as we put down the drugs. Our first reunion with our conscience can feel pretty distressing. Without drugs to mask our feelings, many of us experience an uncut dose of the shame we'd been stuffing for years. We're relieved to read that "we are not responsible for our disease" in the Basic Text. People who know their way around the Twelve Steps assure us that the second half of that sentence, "we are responsible for our recovery," will help us make peace with the past and develop our own conscience. We begin to tune in to what's right for us and focus on aligning our actions with spiritual principles and our own values. We learn--sometimes through trial and error--to behave in ways we can be proud of. Not wanting to pay a spiritual price, we're slower to act out on our most basic urges and selfish desires, so we do so less frequently. We can even observe our impulses without acting on them--who knew? With practice, we recalibrate our value system and develop a code of behavior that reflects our intentions. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will listen for the reawakened voice of my conscience knowing that it reflects my beliefs and intentions. August 16, 2024 Our Commitment to Encouragement Page 236 "As a group, it's our job to be tolerant, listen well, hear the message through the mess, and encourage newer members to grow." Guiding Principles, Tradition Ten, "For Groups" Practicing encouragement, especially with newer members, is a job not to be taken lightly. Encouragement breeds hope, which leads to a willingness to change, which leads to courageous action, which leads to growth that can be miraculous to witness. When we consider the importance of encouragement, we realize policing the message, or the messenger, is likely not helpful. We all hope to be met with empathy and encouragement, not an explanation about outside issues. We can overlook when a newcomer misspeaks. When we're tempted to correct the way someone shared, maybe we offer a hug instead and our phone number. The share that hits the marks of solution oriented, message carrying, and utterly authentic--all before the timer goes off--may not happen every day. And is that even our goal? Many of us believe sharing honestly is the solution--and actively listening for the message reflects our empathy and encourages others to speak honestly. We can validate each other--and also model how to connect the dots between what's happening in our individual lives and the process of recovery we all share. When we provide each other with support and encouragement, we're more inspired to be part of each other's growth. Encouragement is living by example, as much as it is the words we utter. Rather than critique a group member's way of handling a problem, we share our experience with a similar situation. Through it all, we witness each other's courage to endure some unimaginable conflict and strife and stay clean through it. "NA members' encouragement has provided the nudge I needed to take one more step forward," a member recounted. "I was told not to quit before the miracle. My suggestion is to not quit during or after either!" ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— We've all shared a "mess" at some point. Heck, we've all BEEN a mess! But the encouragement I received gave me the courage to learn and grow. I'm committed to doing that for others today. August 17, 2024 Willingness to Change Page 237 "When we take the Serenity Prayer seriously and really consider what in our lives we do have the courage to change, we find that our ability to shape our lives is limited more by our willingness than by anything outside ourselves." Living Clean, Chapter 6, "Finding Our Place in the World" We say the Serenity Prayer so often in NA meetings that it's easy to do it by rote, without intention or commitment. "Sometimes I forget that it's actually a prayer," one member reflected. "It was only when it was suggested that I say it outside of meetings as a prayer for willingness that I began to connect to it, to really use it to help me in a moment of strife, confusion, or indecision." "It helps me get real," another member offered. "I need to know what I can change before mustering up the courage to do it. Most of the time it's me that's standing in my own way. Not my past. Not my upbringing, or my culture, or institutions, or even other people. Just this addict." Change is hard because it's often painful. Our current level of discomfort is familiar, at least. Trading it in for the unknown seems risky. We fear the pain will be worse on the other side of a decision. Who wants to experience rejection or failure? Or what if we succeed? Then, there may be a slew of new responsibilities to deal with. Will we be able to manage those? In the simplest terms, these are fears that limit our capacity to grow. Change is even harder when we view the world as hostile to us, when we listen to the voice in our heads telling us "you can't" or "don't do it." Ignoring that voice and practicing willingness to change the things we can--and then taking an action toward that change we want to make--requires a lot. We have to simultaneously accept where we are right now and be willing to take a risk. There are lessons to be learned, no matter how things turn out. A bonus of NA membership is that we get to report back and share those with each other. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I'll carefully consider what I have the power to change in my life right now. Instead of cursing the dark, I pray for willingness to change the lightbulb. Sometimes it is that simple. August 18, 2024 Perseverance Pays Off Page 238 "Caring for our spiritual condition is like cleaning the house: If we want the benefit, the work must be ongoing." Living Clean, Chapter 1, "A Vision of Hope" We experience peace of mind and freedom when we consistently work on our spiritual fitness. We get in a groove of daily inventories, prayer and meditation, and helping other addicts. The results are obvious, and it feels great to be comfortable in our own skin, connected to a Higher Power and to others in recovery. It's a beautiful thing--until we sabotage it! Just as it's easier to keep a home tidy after we've done a thorough cleaning, steady work on our recovery yields consistently good results. And yet, it's so flipping easy to skip our daily inventory and, before we know it, several days or weeks or months have passed. It's no surprise when we lose perspective and our lives become unmanageable again. We sit down, reluctantly, and recommit to our Tenth Step. A sense of relief returns. Maybe next time, we'll only wait a few days before we sit down to write. Progress! We may not be hardwired to persevere, but we get better at it with practice. We can start again at any time. We don't need to devolve into a state of desperation before we reach for solutions; today, we can be inspired to do the work of ongoing recovery. We notice the sense of ease we enjoy when we stay immersed in the process. We put one foot in front of the other and persevere. Each of us develops a routine that works for us, built from the suggestions shared in the experience of others. "When I see a member struggling, I always tell them that my best days start with a quick prayer before my feet hit the floor," one member shared. Another shared about their eclectic approach to meditation: "A couple of deep breaths in the shower or a long walk after dinner does it for me." The trick is sticking with it and, when that fails, getting back to it. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will evaluate my spiritual condition today. Am I getting the results I want from my current routine, or is it time for a spiritual deep cleaning? August 19, 2024 Inclusiveness Means Any Addict Page 239 "All addicted persons are welcome and equal in obtaining the relief that they are seeking from their addiction; every addict can recover in this program on an equal basis." Basic Text, Chapter 6, "Tradition Three" Many of us who have been around NA for a little while have no doubt that the NA program is for any addict. Our literature and our Traditions clearly state that any addict with a desire to stop using should be able to find a place in our Fellowship. Making that ideal into a reality requires more than telling newcomers to "focus on the similarities, rather than the differences"--it requires us to actively make space in our meetings for any addict, "regardless of . . ." "I was the only person who looked like me in the rooms where I got clean," a member shared. "People told me to focus on the similarities, and all I could think was, That's pretty easy for all of you--everyone looks like you! Then I heard someone say, 'One day you'll hear someone who is nothing like you share your story,' and it clicked. I needed to hear that it's okay that we're not all the same--our stories are similar even when we're not. I don't have to ignore real parts of who I am to belong here." Making space for any addict requires taking an honest look at ourselves and our communities. Society outside of our meetings has all sorts of social strata. Differences in language, ethnicity, culture, gender identity, sexual orientation, ability, and financial status can present challenges--and some might prefer it if distinctions like these melted away at the door to our meeting. But they're often all wrapped up in who we are as people, and our distinctions are assets to NA, not problems to be solved. We can tell newcomers that our differences don't matter, but if our meetings are largely made up of people from similar backgrounds, it can look like NA is no more inclusive than the rest of society. When we share openly about our differences and encourage others to do so, too, our distinctions enrich the NA Fellowship. Being who we are helps newcomers identify and relate--and stay. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— Focusing on the similarities does not mean I need to ignore the differences. I will share honestly about who I am, differences and all--and honor the experiences of addicts who are not like me. August 20, 2024 Practicing Service in All Our Affairs Page 240 "Service gives us opportunities to grow in ways that touch all parts of our lives." Basic Text, Chapter 9: Just for Today--Living the Program The Basic Text describes who we used to be in active addiction as "devious, frightened loners." Many of us come to NA with very limited healthy and productive life experience. We may never have held a legal, on-the-books job and don't have the skills to get one. Or we may have skills and experience, but our dodgy work history reflects our using more than our employability. Our relationships, if they even still exist, are a mess--with our loved ones, with ourselves, with a Higher Power. Our self-serving behavior and our aversion to being truly vulnerable and intimate with others have kept us isolated. And then there's the spiritual deadness so many of us arrive with--and either the hardness or the utter fearfulness that comes with it. In meetings, we hear members share that their lives are "bigger," "amazing," and "beyond my wildest dreams." Initially, we are skeptical at best, especially when they also tell us that it's not because of material gains but because of what they've gained by being of service to Narcotics Anonymous. A member shared, "Through service, my relationship to humanity was restored." Seriously? ALL of humanity? Most of us get involved in service because we're told, "That's how we stay clean." We don't fully grasp its holistic benefits until we experience them ourselves. Through our NA commitments, we learn basic accounting, public speaking, and good communication skills. We learn how to listen--in meetings, to a fellow member who needs to vent, to people we don't even like. We learn how to treat others with respect when we disagree. We learn to show up to do the job no matter what. And more. These are qualities we take with us wherever we go, in all our affairs. NA doesn't just help us stay clean; it transforms us into people who can make a positive impact inside and outside of the rooms. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— What aspects of my life have been touched by NA service? Through service, what can I do today--at work, at home, or wherever I go--to make a positive impact? August 21, 2024 Faith to Let Go Page 241 "We plan for the future just for today and let go of the outcome, even when we really want it." Living Clean, Chapter 1, "Why We Stay" Early in recovery, many of us are told, "Hey, don't future-trip!" when we express certainty that disaster lies ahead, no matter what we might do to prevent it, including staying clean and working a program. In NA, we frequently and actively encourage each other to be in the present moment, to focus on today and what is directly in front of us, instead of fearing what may come to pass. But let's not be confused about what this means. We can and should plan for the future. We can allow ourselves to want a better life, full of good stuff--even really, really want it. We can't let fear of the unknown prevent our progress. Enacting the future we desire depends upon our willingness to plot steps in the direction of our vision and our desires . . . and having faith that we are going to be okay, no matter the outcome. What we need to be cautious about, however, are expectations. Because we've let ourselves really want something, dare to hope for it, even (gasp!) fantasize about getting it, a loss can really shake us. But we can't let disappointment, or feelings of entitlement, rob us of the faith in ourselves that can feel so fragile at such times. We also can't succumb to the temptation to let a single failure, despite all of our good intentions and hard work, define us and stop us from trying again. One of faith's toughest and most rewarding lessons is when we do everything in our power to succeed, turn over the rest, lose out, learn from it, and be okay to let it go. That's a moment of freedom to savor, because it strengthens our faith to try again. And there may even be times when the outcome we've experienced initially as utter failure turns out to be the best possible result that could have happened. Faith, perspective, and time often work together in ways that create insights we could never have imagined. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I won't let fear and uncertainty stop me from wanting more out of life. Faith will help me get my plan in action, find some acceptance, and help me stay out of--and deal with--the results, whatever they may be. August 22, 2024 Trust and the Fifth Step Page 242 "This may be the first time we've ever trusted another person enough to tell her or him about ourselves and allow that person to get to know us." It Works, Step Five We addicts have lots of stories. What some consider to be deep, dark secrets others easily share, sometimes even as badges of honor. Many of us are fine with divulging the goriest details of our using days, the mayhem of our childhoods, and our experiences of victimization. Regarding the Fourth and Fifth Steps, we think, No problem, I am an open book! But, as we do the work that is suggested, perhaps using the Step Working Guides, there's a depth inherent in those questions that goes way beyond our comfort. Exposing our own part in situations turns out to be messy, agonizing, and illuminating all at once. For many of us, our pettiness, our unforgiving nature or unkind acts, our ego on blast, our shame: These carefully guarded parts of ourselves turn out to be far more significant than the dramatic tales we thought we'd tell. Thankfully, we've had the benefit and experience of the previous Steps to build trust in the program, each other, a Higher Power, and our sponsor. The Fifth Step is an opportunity for us to open our whole book and have another human being bear witness to the stories about ourselves that are the hardest to tell. As much as we'd been nervous about sharing our inventory with another person, it's the first time we've admitted much of this business to ourselves. Building a bond of trust takes courage as well as vulnerability. As we exercise that bond, a weight is lifted off our shoulders: We reveal the truth about ourselves and we're not rejected. Many of us don't even realize how distant we've been in our relationships as a result of the secrets we'd guarded. And often being seen as truly ourselves by one person allows us to feel much lighter and more open in other relationships. One bond of trust inspires us to form others. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I'm willing to practice trust by sharing my whole story with another person. I aim to build upon my ability to trust and be trustworthy by applying what I've learned to other relationships. August 23, 2024 Striving for Emotional Maturity Page 243 "Emotional maturity is our reward for letting go of anger and resentment." Living Clean, Chapter 7, "Principles, Practice, and Perspective" Perhaps we've all encountered circumstances when another member gets on our last nerve. When that happens, sometimes it takes everything in us not to attack them, mock them, shut them down using whatever tactic we can. We may want to bolt from the room because we see how this person--who may or may not have wronged us in some way--enjoys the respect of other members in the group. We want to expose them as a fraud and a hypocrite, but we don't. We say nothing because we know our personal feelings about another member should play no role in how, for instance, our area contributes to the region's Fellowship development efforts. At other business meetings, we'll have no problem keeping our mouths shut because we'd much rather roll our eyes--and smugly watch the same two members battle it out like they always do over the finer points of coordinating an effective public relations campaign. In those situations, we have to stop ourselves from sharing the eye roll with everyone else in the room, revealing our displeasure with the proceedings. We'd love to break our silence by audibly groaning at how much time they are taking up. A member shared, "The second I start thinking about how I'm the only adult in the room, I know I'm not coming from a place of emotional maturity." With some practice, we can learn to check ourselves in situations where previously the monster that lives in our head would have burst out in full force in an effort to kill the proceedings. Similarly, we find a way to restrain our inner adolescent, who would snark, scoff, and snipe at members merely for being themselves. Emotional maturity may not sound like a big enough reward for not acting out on our character defects--but doesn't it make our lives so much more manageable? And peaceful? And isn't that a big part of why we came here in the first place? ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will practice reining in my reactiveness in situations where my personal feelings about other members serve no relevant purpose. Today emotional maturity is a reasonable reward for those efforts. August 24, 2024 Finding Healing in Humor Page 244 "The way we share . . . finding humor in some of the darkest, most frightening things that have happened to us--is not always available outside the rooms." Living Clean, Chapter 2, "Connection to the World Around Us" In NA, we often get to know each other from the inside out. "I knew the biggest hopes and fears of some of the members of my home group before I knew their last names or what kind of jobs they had," one member shared. We may never know the inner life of nonaddicts the way we know each other in NA--and it's a big part of why we're able to laugh with and poke fun at our fellow NA members. Humor often comes in the form of a surprising or unexpected gap between expectation and reality. In society, there are lots of expectations about how people ought to act around one another--expectations that we addicts disregard completely. The nonaddicts in our lives often do not see what's so funny. Sometimes that's the joke: "Normal" people act one way; we addicts act very differently. When we hear members share their bizarre ideas and actions, we relate and are relieved that we're not alone. Many of us find a deep well of humor in the way denial framed our experience. Sometimes that's the joke. "I thought my life was like something out of a big-shot gangster film-- money and drugs and lots of drama. In reality, it was more like a depressing ad for keeping your kids off drugs." The stark contrast between reality and the imagined movie version of our stories might seem pathetic or deranged to outsiders, but we lived to tell--and we can knowingly laugh at ourselves today. Humor helps us heal as we come to terms with the reality of our lives. We see the outrageous gap between our behaviors and what "polite" society expects. (Of course, there are gaps--we're square pegs in round holes!) Or we notice the laughable distance between our lives and our fantasies. We share our inner selves in a way we can't anywhere else, often giving our fellow members a good chuckle. We stop taking ourselves so seriously, let our flaws show, and start to grow. It can be very funny, but it's no joke! ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— By sharing my insides with other addicts, I can learn to laugh at the insanity of addiction--and let go of it, little by little. August 25, 2024 A New Meaning for Love Page 245 "How we go about getting love is where our defects come into play." NA Step Working Guides, Step Six, "Our Defects of Character" Before coming to the Fellowship of NA, we had a distorted sense of both giving and receiving love. Now that we're clean, we've got love all figured out . . . if only that were true! It doesn't matter how much time we have clean (or what type of love we are talking about); love is a serious business that requires vigilance. Where and how do we addicts go looking for love? When we write our inventories and listen to those of our sponsees, that question is answered in abundance. We hear many stories of unmet expectations, abandonment by parents and partners, abuse, and neglect. Others are about relationships sought, gained, and sustained through manipulation and passive-aggressive behaviors--and sometimes coercive acts. We hear about love being confused with the exchange of sex, money, and, of course, drugs. We did those things to others, and others did them to us. And many of those behaviors will appear in future inventories because our character defects will rear their ugly heads again. The difference is that in NA we have the opportunity to seek and express love in ways that are manifestations of our assets, rather than our defects. In NA, we get to experience the unconditional love of the Fellowship. We learn how to love and care for people in the rooms, as we learn how to accept that same love and care from others. Also, we will have abundant opportunities outside the rooms to apply the principles of love. Through working the Steps honestly and thoroughly, we are far less likely to try to manipulate and control others--or let ourselves be manipulated and controlled. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I am learning new ways to give and receive love. I don't have to act on my defects to experience love anymore. I will try to love those in my life with acceptance instead of expectations today. August 26, 2024 Choosing Intimacy over Isolation Page 246 "Caring and sharing the NA way is the ultimate weapon against our alienating, isolating, destructive disease." Living Clean, Chapter 5: Relationships, Opening Essay Experiencing loneliness is an inevitable part of the human condition. For many addicts, this loneliness is amplified by how different we've felt from our peers. We've had trouble fitting in, or we're just plain weird. We needed too much attention and alienated others in our efforts to get it. Or we wanted none of that; instead, we stayed silent and hoped that others wouldn't notice us. Drugs helped us deal with those feelings and experiences. Initially, using made us feel more "normal," more comfortable in our own skin. It allowed us to be more social and, most importantly, created a buffer to keep us safe from intimacy and vulnerability. Early in recovery, we learn that our disease is fueled not only by getting loaded, but by keeping us isolated from others and from ourselves. When we first get clean and we don't have drugs as that extra layer of defense, we are raw. Narcotics Anonymous provides us with opportunities to heal that rawness--through intimate relationships with other addicts. Allowing ourselves to share fearlessly with another addict is truly the salve for our isolation. Even with years clean, a voice in our heads will tell us that we are better off dealing with (or not dealing with) our problems alone. However, we know the act of revealing ourselves and being present for others is the most powerful antidote to our very human state of loneliness--and to our default addict state of believing we are just too weird. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— Even though sharing may be uncomfortable, I will take a risk and allow myself to be seen by another addict. I will choose connection over isolation. August 28, 2024 Treating Ourselves with Respect Page 248 "We start by not engaging in self-abuse and gradually learn to treat our body, mind, and spirit with honor and respect." Living Clean, Chapter 4, "Wellness and Health" Many of us could accurately describe our active addiction as "suicide on the installment plan." Thankfully, when we stop using drugs, we eliminate a main catalyst of our self-destructive behavior. Without the compulsion to get high, it's easier to avoid the degradation and criminality that brought us to new lows again and again. Abstinence is one clear marker of our restoration to sanity, and it's certainly a good place to start. Being clean allows us to think more clearly, and that clarity enables us to consider who we've been and who we want to be. The Steps offer guidance as we examine our lives, our motivations, and our choices. We learn from the experience of other recovering addicts, and it gives us the courage we need to strip away the guilt, remorse, and shame. Taking care of our whole selves--body, mind, and spirit--is part of the amends we make to ourselves. Addiction touches all areas of our lives, and so must our recovery. Many of us seek professional help to find specific healing. One addict shared, "My first sponsor explained that doctors, dentists, and therapists can also be powers greater than myself." Still, many of us struggle with the urge to undermine our success or to sabotage healthy impulses. Progress is often two steps forward, one step back--but that's progress, nonetheless. As with using, we become aware of harmful habits before we're willing or able to make a change for the better. Our tolerance for self-deception lessens as we gain self-respect. With the help of our Higher Power, we're quicker to learn the lessons, to stop unhealthy habits, or to take up new practices that honor our body, mind, and spirit. ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— I will honor my recovery process and treat myself with respect today. What can I start or stop doing to better care for myself? • comes from https://www.spadna.org/ • Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

1 The Power of Creative Action

2 With Independence Comes Responsibility

3 Unity in Our Shared Purpose

4 Open-Mindedness and Spirituality

August 05, 2024 Finding Purpose in One Another

August 06, 2024 Spiritual Discipline Builds Good Character

August 07, 2024 Unconditional Love for Fellow Addicts

August 08, 2024 Accepting Ourselves as Works in Progress

August 09, 2024 Practicing Tolerance and Self-Acceptance

August 10, 2024 To Be Both Willing and Humble

August 11, 2024 Harmony in Spite of Conflict

August 12, 2024 Finding Grace in the Process

August 13, 2024 Anonymity and Individuality

August 14, 2024 Surrendering Shortcomings

August 15, 2024 Guided by Conscience

August 16, 2024 Our Commitment to Encouragement

August 17, 2024 Willingness to Change

August 18, 2024 Perseverance Pays Off

August 19, 2024 Inclusiveness Means Any Addict

August 20, 2024 Practicing Service in All Our Affairs

August 21, 2024 Faith to Let Go

August 22, 2024 Trust and the Fifth Step

August 23, 2024 Striving for Emotional Maturity

August 24, 2024 Finding Healing in Humor

August 25, 2024 A New Meaning for Love

August 26, 2024 Choosing Intimacy over Isolation

August 28, 2024 Treating Ourselves with Respect